Amazingly enough, Dr. Regan was wrapping up a study for an artificial disc replacement and I qualified. My surgery would be free.

And three weeks later it happened.

Everything about it was amazing. I had my own fancy room, big flat-screen TV, a team of nurses constantly checkingon me and some of the best-looking doctors i’d ever seen. Dilaudid drip.

The worst pain was in my stomach which they’d cut into to get to my back. It still hurts, in fact, nearly two months later. But the recovery was quick by back surgery standards. I was a vicodin-popping ball of agony for about two weeks following the surgery. Spent a couple of days thinking the surgery didn’t work because I still had a tight left hip. Then, suddenly, up and around, walking the dogs, swimming, hiking.

No back ache. No sciatica. No nothing.

Miraculous.

So there was about a week’s reprieve until this new thing kicked in: frozen shoulder syndrome. If anyone has had this, please comment. About four weeks ago I woke up and my shoulder and neck were completely locked up. After a few trips to the chiropractor it looks like this problem is common with people who’ve just had surgery and been “immobilized” for some time. It’s so annoying! And unfair! And supposedly goes on for 1-2 years!

So I’m swimming through it and taking a lot of vitamins and weird supplements. Hopefully it will pass quickly. This is getting really boring.

Now that this story has a happy ending, I need to tell it.

About five years ago I did something to my back. It’s a long story involving a family with bad backs, hot yoga and overzealous landscaping on my part. But since that time, I’ve endured a slow buildup of pain that started in my lower back, radiating down my left leg and up between my shoulder blades. I did yoga, pilates, acupuncture, Rolfing (the whole shebang), Chinese herbs, chiropractic adjustments, vitamin supplements, you name it. The pilates kind of helped as it strengthened my core and propped everything up for a while. But for the past 5 years, I’ve been hurting anywhere between a 2 and a 9, 24-7.

In 2005 when I realized that the problem wasn’t going away, but getting worse, I went to an orthopedic surgeon recommended to me by another doctor. He said that I didn’t really have much of a problem. He sent me to physical therapy where I was treated by one therapist who had a cross-eye and showed up at work in a retro pink organza ball gown. Apparently, she was soon fired and I then was treated by a woman who seemed always on the edge of a raging outburst and who’s hands sort of operated like claws. How she was a physical therapist was a baffling mystery. Poke, poke, prod, prod. Awful.

I stopped going.

Anyway, like a dolt, when things flared up again in February, I went back to the aforementioned doc. I’d done a lot of calling around but none of the surgeons recommended to me were on my insurance. He injected cortisone into my “bad” disc at S1-L5 twice to no avail and sent me again to physical therapy which was a little better but nowhere near enough to deal with my real problem: an almost completely degenerated disc at S1-L5.

In late July, a week after my last cortisone shot, I went for a checkup and told the doc the cortisone hadn’t done anything. He looked very solemn and sat down. “This is the kind of situation that is very frustrating,” he said. “There isn’t really anything I can do for you except send you to our Pain Management specialists (i.e. Dr. Druggy McDruggerton? Nein, danke). “The operation available is spinal fusion, but I can’t guarantee that would even help.”

His scariest statement: “This is the kind of situation where patients look at me and say ‘You’re a big piece of crap.’”

“Mad Men” moment: “The one thing I don’t want you to think is that you are hysterical or making up this pain.”

That’s when I realized I needed to forget about my insurance company and just go to the best doctor possible for a second opinion. And what happened after that is now like a blur.

At a poker game in early August I got orthopedic surgeon John Regan’s name. His fixed our friend Sam’s herniated disc and after checking his website I could see he was pretty much the bomb and of course, he was out of network on my insurance. Either of the surgeries available to help my problem — spinal fusion or artificial disc surgery — would cost many thousands of dollars out of pocket.

To be continued

Look at this amazing garden tote my mom made for me. I feel very chic loading it up with zukes and artichokes. She is an incredible knitter–and actually makes me stuff that I wear. Way to go, mom!

Look at the cool handles!

My mom knitted this tote bag for my vegetables

lettuce

…is delicious. I planted 13 cloves last fall, just pulled them up and they are full-on gorgeous. Lesson learned: Plant a few cloves every three weeks or so, then you’ll have them around. I am loaded with garlic now, not that there will be a problem eating them. Also, I found out that they are not like onions, i.e. don’t wait until all the tops die down before you harvest. The greens on these guys were just starting to turn brown when they were ready to pull.

On the other hand, try not to be impatient like me and pull them up before the bulbs have divided into cloves. You can tell by gently pushing the soil from the top to see how they’re coming along.

Last night I threw some of the fresh cloves into beets and artichokes I was roasting and they really delivered –  super tender, hotter than store-bought and keep the vampires at bay, which is nice.

Garlic curing in the pantry

Garlic curing in the pantry

beets

artichokes in the front garden

The artichokes (I’ve got eight of them, grown from seed) are taking off. They like the cooler weather, it seems.

Cheddar cauliflower

Cheddar cauliflower

I just got back from Thanksgiving in VA with the fam, and things are happening in the garden. For an obsessive like me, who can’t get enough of checking the beds to see if anything has sprouted, leafed or fattened even the slightest bit, it’s delightful to be 3000 miles away for five days and return to some REAL action.

Check out my single cauliflower.

It’s of the “Cheddar” variety, which explains the orange hue. I tried a few rows of seeds, which germinated but were soon devoured by unknown bugs. I was enlighted by Tara at Silverlake Farms that I needed to check the leaves daily for “little green worms” (check.) and “tiny, off-white larvae” (check.). And that I needed to pick them off by hand and squish them. That seems to be working. Will try the seeds again, but it looks like the cabbage family plants, grown organically, are higher maintenance than I knew.

Some of you have asked about growing lettuce. Once you start growing it yourself, you will see what a horrendous rip-off store-bought lettuce can be. Home-grown is crunchier, tastes better and the fancy/exotic “spring mix” type greens are just as easy to grow as a delicious head of butter lettuce. The big plus I’ve found is that you get what seems like 100% germination. It all comes up. The first batch takes about 50-60 days to fully mature. Then you just cut the leaves off (without pulling the roots) and it just grows back.

This year I’ve got “Tom Thumb” (big, green, almost spinach-y leaves), Buttercrunch (soft leaves, big tight, crunchy heads) and “French mix” which is a blend of differently colored and shaped greens including romaine and chicory. I’ve also got a row of arugula for spice. Last year I grew our lettuce in one of those wooden window boxes, set on the ground. This year, with the wider, raised beds, I’ve got even more. So…anyone out there with an avocado tree want to trade?

Bettunya\'s quick pickles

Quick pickles are really delicious and easy. I had 5 medium cucumbers from the garden. Peeled them, then using a mandoline, sliced them thin. Same with 1/2 white onion, 3 cloves of garlic. Here is the rest of my new quick pickle recipe, adapted from a recipe for sunomono on epicurious.com:

Set aside in a bowl and toss with 2 teaspoons salt. Let sit for twenty minutes. Drain off excess water.

Over vegetables, sprinkle 1 1/2 tablespoons fresh cut dill, four coriander seeds (crushed), 1 tsp. fresh ground pepper, leaves from three-ish sprigs of thyme. I also added a few tarragon leaves but only do that if you like that licorice-like taste.

In another bowl, 1 1/2 cup rice vinegar or white wine vinegar + 3/4 cup sugar. Mix until sugar is dissolved. Pour over vegetable mixture. Lightly stir, cover and put in the fridge for a couple of hours. So good.

I just made another batch yesterday with yellow squash and carrots added. It works. We have so much squash now, it’s nice to have something easy to do with them that doesn’t involve turning the oven on.

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